Curious to know why Korean men like to be called oppa or why they ask you to call them that?
I’ll explain the cultural, psychological, and social reasons why Korean guys love to hear the title, oppa.
Quick Summary
- Culturally, oppa sounds responsible, reliable, and respectable as a traditional role of guardian.
- Psychologically, hearing oppa boosts self-esteem and stirs up protective instincts.
- Socially, oppa feels intimate and close while having a positive image.
- But really, Korean men simply hate being called ajeossi.
What’s the Meaning of Oppa?
Before we get in, oppa is “a word used only by a girl to refer to or address her male siblings or cousins older than herself” according to the National Institute of Korean Language website.
Basically, it means an older brother but with many usages.
You can read more about what oppa means here.
Do Korean Men Really Like Being Called Oppa?
Absolutely!
Some people say, “Not every Korean man enjoys being called oppa,” but I beg to differ.
In my 30-something years in South Korea, I haven’t met a single Korean guy who dislikes hearing the word, oppa.
According to the NewDaily article, even Psy said that he made the song “Gangnam Style” because he wanted to be called oppa,
I’m sure every guy has his own reason, but here are some common motives for why they love being called oppa.
Cultural Reason
1. Oppa traditionally plays the role of a guardian.
Korean men have traditionally taken on the role of guardian.
Oppa, which means big brother, symbolizes this role of responsibility.
As a Korean woman, oppa feels like someone I can trust, rely on, or even look up to.
2. Oppa is a respectful and affectionate title.
The word oppa itself shows some level of respect and friendliness.
Korean women will not use the term oppa to call a complete stranger or someone we dislike.
Men love to hear it because it feels warm and sounds friendly coming from a girl.
Psychological Reason
1. It boosts self-esteem.
Being called oppa makes Korean men feel they are trustworthy and important.
This boosts their self-esteem.
2. It triggers protective instincts.
It stirs up protective instincts because hearing oppa makes Korean men feel like the speaker is relying on them.
When Korean men hear this title, they will happily do something for you in general.
Their nice gesture will range from buying you a nice meal or coffee to fixing your laptop and helping with your college assignments.
Social Reason
1. Oppa feels intimate.
As an endearing term, oppa feels intimate and close.
It brings the relationship between two people closer and helps them communicate with each other better.
It’s like removing an invisible barrier.
That being said, if you want to keep some distance, avoid calling them oppa. They might feel closer to you than you’re comfortable with, or even get the wrong idea.
2. Oppa has a positive image from K-dramas.
This reason may not be that strong for Korean men.
Still, oppa is often portrayed as a charming, kind, and successful guy in K-dramas and movies.
Oppa gets a positive image, subconsciously.
But Really,
Korean men just hate being called ajeossi.
Rather than being obsessed with the title oppa, Korean men simply don’t want to be called ajeossi more than anything. Just like how no Korean woman likes being called ajumma.
I’m getting older and I’ll be called ajumma one day, but it will make me, kind of, sad.
Being called ajeossi makes them feel older than they are.
When they hear the word ajeossi, Korean men feel quite distant from the speaker as well.
Many K-pop lyrics include, “I love you, oppa,” but no one wrote a song about, “I love you, ajeossi.”
If you are a girl and feel comfortable with a Korean guy who is slightly older than you, feel free to call him oppa. That will make his day!
Hi minjung
Do you mind if I ask something about Korean culture? I’ve heard that women sometimes call older men ‘오빠,’ and I’m curious—do you ever feel like there’s pressure to use that term, even if you’re not particularly close to the person? I wonder if it ever feels awkward or too familiar in those situations. Do men experience something similar with how they address older women? I’d really like to hear your thoughts. If you had a choice, would you prefer to use something like [name]-씨 when you’re not close to the person?
Hi HJ,
Those are great questions. Thanks for asking!
Personally, I don’t feel pressured to use the term oppa when I’m not close to someone. I only use it for my older brother or close male friends.
If someone insists on being called oppa, it actually makes me want to avoid using it even more.
When I want to keep some distance, I usually stick with titles like “sunbae (senior)” in college, or [job title]+nim at work.
Like you mentioned, using [name]+ssi works well too!
As for how men feel, I’m not totally sure, but from what I’ve seen, they tend to do something similar, starting with sunbae in college and then maybe switching to noona once they get closer. In work settings, it’s usually just the job title. In every other situation, it would be [name]+ssi.
Hi minjung,
Thanks for answering! I appreciate the cultural insights and your thoughts on these social dynamics.
My pleasure! I’m really glad you’re interested in Korean culture, and I’m always happy to share.