On a Tuesday morning in 2008 while riding the BART to downtown San Francisco, the guy next to me turns and asks, “Where are you from?” I had arrived in America a few days before and just worked up the courage to venture out on my own.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t doing a good job blending in. My tight-knit dress, smokey makeup, and 4-inch heels stood out among the sea of hoodies in Bay Area public transport. Hollywood shows like Gossip Girl led me to believe that even high school kids had stylists in the States. I was way off.
This question was unsettling for two reasons. One. I had just started speaking English for the first time in public, despite studying it for a decade. Totally normal where I’m from. Two. We don’t make small talk with strangers in Korea. Even in small towns.
I managed to answer, “I am from Korea” with the confidence of a person who had just regained their ability to speak. 10 years of study had prepared me for that level of question. He responded half-jokingly, “North or South?” This took me by surprise. The English textbooks I remembered word-for-word missed the part about banter. I didn’t know how to react other than to awkwardly respond, “The South?” before looking down at the floor.
This happened a lot before PSY took over global airwaves, BTS became a household name and Parasite won Academy Awards. The Korean Peninsula was better known for its northern region. Threat of nuclear war often gets more attention than sensible economy cars and synchronized dancing.
Now, South Korea is grabbing headlines through Netflix and Billboard Charts. Since my first experience with American culture, the reactions have changed. More people around the world get excited just because I’m Korean.
Fast forward to 2024 in Vlorë, Albania, where few speak English and I’m the only Asian for miles. As I’m walking out of a pier side café where everyone over 15 smokes but the views of the Adriatic Sea are amazing, I notice a little girl staring at me. She comes up and asks, “Where are you from?”
I say the same thing I always do but with a bit more ease. “I’m from Korea.” Her eyes sparkle and she responds with the Korean greeting, “Annyeonghaseyo” using perfect pronunciation. Turns out, she’s a Blackpink fan. Best of all, she doesn’t think I’m a spy.
I’m enjoying the change in reactions to my nationality, but there are still misconceptions about my country. Even with the numerous books, articles, and YouTube videos on Korean culture. Many of them make good points. Few are by Koreans. They tend to speak about us like we’re robots programmed by an ancient Chinese scholar to be obsessed with faces. And all personal decisions are made to preserve harmony. Basically, a well-groomed bee hive. This doesn’t surprise me.
We’re hard to define. Especially with one word like “collectivist” or “Confucianist.” Koreans seldom publish books in English, unless they escape from the North or have too many PhDs. Sure, there are plenty of TV shows about love triangles, dystopian children’s games, and 30-second street interviews. But there’s not much in the way of day-to-day experiences and what the culture is really about.
On the other side of the coin, imagine riding the subway in Seoul, packed with perfectly groomed people in stoic silence. You’ll stand out here no matter what you wear.
The first thing someone asks you is “How old are you?” You may also be confused and even offended by the personal question. But this is as normal to Koreans as talking about the weather is to you. Korean culture is that different. A little context can go a long way.
That’s where I come in!
I’m here to take you on a journey through the heart and soul of Korea, revealing the highs and lows it has to offer. Whether you’re exploring your own heritage, seeking deeper connections with Korean friends and family, or trying to pick up on subtle cues from your favorite K-dramas, you’ve come to the right place.
I’m here to answer questions like,
- “Why do many Koreans study and work so hard?”
- “Why do women wear makeup and carry a designer bag to 7-Eleven?”
- “Why do Koreans eat spicy food?” and
- “Are the men truly romantic?”
I’m thrilled to share my perspective as a native Korean girl, born and raised in Changwon, the first planned city in the South of South Korea. Modeled after Canberra, Australia, my hometown holds a special place in my heart. A place full of cherished memories of childhood adventures.
Like many from smaller towns, I yearned for a taste of big city life, so I left for university in Incheon and worked in Seoul.
Am I the typical Korean qualified to represent all of my compatriots?
In some ways, yes. I grew up being ranked by height and IQ in elementary school, studied until midnight for Suneung, our eight-hour version of the SAT, and gorged on tteokbokki in between.
As an adult, I attended my share of Membership Training, casual-to-official overnight retreats featuring binge drinking sessions during university, and worked nights and weekends in Seoul.
I have a brother who served in the army, and family all over the country.
In some ways, no. I can’t eat spicy food, don’t wear makeup every day, and have slow traveled on and off for the past 10 years while running a business and now a blog. I was a tomboy growing up and preferred to run around with my brother’s friends jumping off things.
Don’t worry. Most of my friends now are girly girls, so I know how to Korean girl.
I have also yet to reach the part where I get a tight perm, claim subway seats by throwing my purse on them, and elbow everyone in line for groceries. Times were tough in the past, so women had to be tougher.
While traveling to 50 countries, my love for all things Korean grew. Seeing my home from the vantage point of other cultures has given me perspective. I have a better understanding of how unique its charm and beauty are. Once considered old-fashioned, traditional hanbok outfits, hanok buildings, and Korean desserts have made a comeback. Great to see as they’re a winning combination.
Through this book, I hope to offer you a glimpse into authentic Korean life, blending personal anecdotes with cultural insights to paint a vivid picture of the customs and quirks that make Korea special. So, join me on a journey through Korean culture, one story at a time.
Uncover the Secrets of Korea with A Korean Girl Explains
Minjung Seo is the nail that usually gets pounded down in Korean society.
She shares her unique perspective on what it’s like to grow up in Korea as well as food, places, and customs that locals have been keeping to themselves.
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